


the ache for home

by salazarsslytherin



Series: old married maycury [3]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: M/M, i haven't proof-read this at all i'm so sorry for any glaring mistakes or just bad writing, old married maycury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 03:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21112229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salazarsslytherin/pseuds/salazarsslytherin
Summary: It’s Brian’s idea.  It’s not something that’s ever occurred to Freddie, not once, but Brian broaches it one evening after they’ve been around Jer’s for Sunday dinner and she’s been reminiscing, telling Brian about their home.“Have you ever thought about going back?” Brian asks him that night when Freddie emerges from the bathroom and climbs into bed.“Back where?”“To Zanzibar."





	the ache for home

It’s Brian’s idea.It’s not something that’s ever occurred to Freddie, not once, but Brian broaches it one evening after they’ve been around Jer’s for Sunday dinner and she's been reminiscing, telling Brian about their home.

“Have you ever thought about going back?” Brian asks him that night when Freddie emerges from the bathroom and climbs into bed.

“Back where?”

“To Zanzibar,” Brian says, closing his laptop.“It sounds incredible.”

Freddie makes a face.“There’s really not much to see, darling,” he says, burrowing down into the blankets and closing his eyes.“Mum romanticises it.”

“Surely you’d be interested in seeing it now?” Brian presses.“A little holiday.It’d be nice. Warmer than here.”

Freddie hums noncommittally and absently pats Brian’s thigh.“Let’s go to Hawaii,” he murmurs sleepily, and says no more on the matter.

*

A few weeks later, Freddie’s in bed asleep and it must be nearly two but Brian’s tapping away on his laptop in bed, staring intently at the screen.

He must have been typing more loudly than he’d realised because Freddie rolls over, squinting in the harsh light of the screen, and groans.“What are you _doing_, Bri?” he asks, throwing an arm over his face. 

“Sorry, love, go back to sleep,” Brian whispers, hastily turning the brightness down.

Freddie peers over at his screen and huffs when he sees what Brian’s looking at.“You’re not serious, darling?”

He’s looking at hotels in Zanzibar.

“There are some really nice places, Fred,” Brian tells him, turning the laptop a bit so he can see.“We could stay near a beach if you want and just travel into the city to look around on a day or two.Kash thinks it’s a great idea.”

Freddie rolls his eyes but it’s fond.“Have you been conspiring with her?” he asks.

“Just asking advice.I want to see it, Freddie,” Brian adds seriously, reaching over to stroke a thumb along his cheek.“I think you should, too.”

“_I’ve_ already seen it,” Freddie replies, but he turns into Brian’s touch and doesn’t argue the matter any further.

*

It takes a little while to get the plans sorted, not least of which is finding a week when Brian’s diary is free. 

“This is ridiculous, darling, you work far too much,” Freddie, who since deciding that it’s a nice idea after all has gotten involved in looking for the nicest hotel they can possibly find and wants to book it _now_.“I swear you see all of these people more often than _me_.Are we even married?”

Brian laughs at him and takes his planner back, gently thwacking him on the head with it.“I’ll make some time,” he promises.“There’s some stuff in here I can have rescheduled.” 

He disappears to call his assistant and Freddie carries on clicking through the travel website on Brian’s laptop, humming to himself.

*

It takes a while, and a lot of planning, but they make it to the airport eventually. 

Freddie had baulked a little at the length of the journey and Brian had taken cares to make sure the flights they had booked only had one stop, an hour long layover in Istanbul that proves to be the most stressful part of the whole thing, and then they’re on the ferry sailing over to Freddie’s birthplace.

Brian is excited, not only at the prospect of seeing Zanzibar and touring the island, but having some time alone with Freddie. It’s just the two of them for this trip, no PA’s or staff or bodyguards or anything else. It’s refreshing.

He hadn’t wanted to overwhelm Freddie too soon into the trip; they have an entire week so there’s plenty of time and the first couple of days are hotel and beach days, which are very much needed. The place where they’re staying is less of a traditional hotel and more of a group of private villas, each with a twenty four hour butler service, private pool, and an enormous bed that Freddie sprawls across the moment they step inside.

“I’m never leaving this bed,” he proclaims into the pillows while Brian noses around the rest of the place.The bathroom is gorgeous, a huge stone rain shower easily big enough for the two of them, and there’s a charming little upstairs area with loads of sofas and stools and wooden tables, full of incredible art that Brian’s sure Freddie’s going to want to take home with him if he ever stirs himself from the bed and has a look.

He heads back down and wanders around outside, basking in the early-evening warmth and the soft white sand underfoot, so fine it doesn’t even stick to his skin as he has a look among the spindly palm trees and prickly bushes set inside raised beds.There are hammocks strung here and there, big enough for two, and Brian can physically _feel_ stress draining out of him. 

He uses the radio they were given and calls to the hotel manager, requesting dinner down at beachfront, before heading back inside. 

Freddie’s still laid out on the bed and Brian snorts at him, opening the fridge and pulling out what he needs to make two vodka tonics.

“You’ll have to sit up if you want this,” Brian tells Freddie, taking it over. 

Freddie does, humming his thanks, and takes a sip.“Oh, you’ve always been the best at mixing these,” he says happily. 

Brian laughs.“Thanks, sweetheart.The easiest drink in the world, what an achievement.”

Freddie shakes a finger at him.“Not everyone can do it, you know,” he says playfully, finally getting up off the bed.

Brian has another look at everything, this time by showing Freddie around (he’s right about the art, Freddie muses about whether or not the hotel would let him buy three of the paintings the moment he sees them) and leads him down to the beachfront where their butler has set up a little table for them with champagne in an ice bucket and a handwritten note to tell them that dinner will be served as soon as they’re ready.

The food is gorgeous, even Freddie eats everything he’s brought, and the setting couldn’t be more perfect as the sun sinks below the horizon, staining the sky with the most gorgeous wash of pinks and golds and oranges, reflected back at them in the calm sway of the waves.

Freddie throws a piece of shrimp at Brian for leaving him alone at the table so he can take some photos but joins him a moment later, standing with him hand in hand as they watch the sun disappear and the sky turn indigo. 

Freddie makes noises about trying out the shower as they head back but Brian guides him gently toward the bed, tossing his phone aside as he lays down with him and slowly sets to undressing him. They do this less, nowadays, nothing like they used to when they were young and full of it, on top of the world and brimming with energy, able to spend hours and hours in bed without stopping, but Brian thinks he might prefer this.

It’s slow and sweet and perfect and _special_ and every time makes him so, so glad for this life they lead.

*

They spend two days lounging on the beach, sipping at drinks, lazing in hammocks (it takes some doing to get into them so once they’re in, they stay put for as long as bloody possible).Neither of them want to try paddle boarding but they have a go at snorkelling, paddling around in the turquoise waters.Freddie gets excited when he sees a turtle and waves dramatically at Brian which, of course, scares the poor thing off before Brian gets a chance to see it but he takes some great photos of different fish, their scales colourful and bright enough to match Freddie’s Koi back home. 

They don’t travel into Stone Town until the third day, when they’re both feeling rested and a bit restless to _do_ something.Freddie’s a bit uncertain, not at all sure what to think or feel, and holds Brian’s hand the entire car journey in, knowing they can’t be seen doing it once they get out.

Brian gives him a reassuring squeeze and kisses him just before they stop and he helps him out. 

Freddie’s looking around at once, eyes wide as he takes it all in, turning in a full circle as he lets his gaze wander.

“What you expected?” Brian asks quietly.

Freddie purses his lips and gives a small laugh.“It’s...the same,” he says slowly.“I remember this.”Some bits are different, of course, but the layout, the architecture, the _feel_ of it; it’s the same as it was a lifetime ago.They have a local guide with them to show them the sights but Freddie’s pretty sure he could find his way around without him.

Brian’s got his phone up and snapping pictures immediately, eyes wide as he starts to take it in as well.Their guide from the hotel has brought them right into the heart to begin and the streets are busy and bustling, bursting with colour; posters and flags hanging outside shops, bunting strung between buildings and fluttering in a gentle breeze, laundry slung over balconies and lines drawn between windows, colour and people and _life_ everywhere he looks.Donkeys make their way down the streets, led by ropes, and children skip past them, screeching with laughter, chasing each other, expertly dodging in and around the market.

People call out to them as they start walking, inviting them into shops to look at wares, offering bites of street foods and tastes of coffee.

There’s no hurry so they stop every few yards sampling everything, buying tiny bites of food and arguing good-naturedly with each other about where they’ll have lunch later. Freddie challenges one of the street vendors to give him the spiciest thing he has for sale and spends ten minutes downing water, having met his match, while Brian laughs unsympathetically and captures a video of the unflattering moment.

They pay entry to get into Palace Museum and wander through and even Brian doesn’t have his camera out, too busy listening to their guide tell them about Zanzibar’s history, Freddie silent and rapt at his side.They tip well as they leave, an hour well spent, and blink as they step out into the bright sunlight, a call to prayer echoing out over the rooftops from the nearest mosque.

“I didn’t know a lot of that,” Freddie says quietly, looking around with new eyes. 

Brian just gently bumps their shoulders together, subtly brushing their hands as they start walking again.Freddie’s always distanced himself from his past, from here in particular, but he’s relaxing more the longer he’s here, interested and invested in this place he’d never thought to return to.

They have to stop a dozen times for Brian to take stereoscopic photographs of what feels like every carved, arched doorway they see, coaxing Freddie to stand in some of them so he can take photos of him there.

They find their way to Jaws Corner, drenched in red bunting and tourists, and buy coffees as they linger, waiting for the phone.‘Make Free International Calls Please’ is hand painted on a sign hammered to a huge pole and Freddie calls Jer, holding the phone between both his and Brian’s ears.

She knew they were making this trip because they’d asked if she wanted to come but she still can’t believe where they’re calling from.She gets emotional and Freddie has to wipe his eyes quickly, too, and Brian puts an arm around his shoulders as he says goodbye and they call Kash as well.

She just laughs, delighted, and asks Freddie a dozen questions about the city and how it looks now and if the little shop where they used to buy sweets is still there.

He tells her to come and see it for herself but promises to bring her back a bag of the candies they used to buy if they still sell them anywhere.

Their guide leads them further through the city and Freddie points at a big building they pass.“I was born there,” he tells Brian quietly, and Brian stops in his tracks.“And Kash.” 

He’s been smiling since they called and he looks up at the hospital now, staring at it.“Strange, isn’t it?” Freddie asks quietly, leaning into Brian.“It’s so far from home.How did I ever find you?”

Brian swallows hard, unexpectedly emotional for a moment.“Must’ve been fate,” he says bracingly, though neither of them believe in that stuff.It feels like it must have been, like _something_ must have intervened to make it happen.It feels like it should have been impossible, stood here looking up at the building where Freddie was born.And yet here they are.

They mosey back through the narrow streets, following their unerring guide through alleys and arches until they find somewhere to stop for lunch, sitting outside under an awning with a bit of everything between them and their feet kicked together under the table.

After they’ve eaten they take in more museums, the Old Dispensary where Freddie says he’s been on a school trip, a long time ago, and the House of Wonders, picking up knick-knacks and souvenirs from the gift shops and local vendors on the way.

Brian wants to see more of Freddie’s history but they’re both tired by the time they leave the final museum and Freddie says he’d rather do it another day.Even just being in Stone Town has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster so they head back to the hotel for dinner just outside their villa and a lazy swim in the warm ocean before bed. 

The next day they spend in and around the hotel and the little spa attached which offers free treatments and has an infinity pool. 

Freddie manages to convince the hotel manager to let him buy two of the art pieces he wants from upstairs in their villa and spends most of the afternoon sketching absently while Brian reads one of the million books he brought with him, swinging lazily in a hammock with one foot on the floor to make it sway side to side.

They have dinner in the main shared area in the hotel that evening, pleased to be able to eat somewhere public without being disturbed every five minutes by people asking for autographs or photos. 

It’s an open-air little courtyard amongst all the villas so the breeze passes over them while they eat and the sound of the sea is soothing and peaceful as they sip wine after, sitting in contented silence.

They go to bed early and make love again, making the most of being on holiday and the tranquil feeling it brings, whispering stupidly romantic things and giggling together like they’re young and newly in love all over again.It feels almost like they are.

*

When they next venture out to Stone Town they don’t take the guide with them.Brian borrows a car from the hotel and the clerk on the front desk finds them a map and highlights the route they need to take to get to the centre of the city.Freddie says that once they’re there he’ll know where to go, but Brian gets the clerk to point out the areas for him nonetheless, not quite trusting Freddie’s frankly suspect sense of direction.

He’s right not to because with Freddie reading the map for him from the passenger seat they get lost half a dozen times, argue twice that many, and it takes nearly two hours to actually make it to their destination.

They’re both wound up and cramped from sitting in the car for so long so they don’t seek out Freddie’s old school first thing but stop for spiced tea and sit down outside yet another bright local cafe.As soon as they’re no longer fighting about which direction to drive, they’re fine again, laughing away to each other as they people watch in the narrow street, barely wide enough for their little table and passers-by.

Then, cups drained and tips paid, they find the car and clamber back in, Brian consulting the map himself before they take off. 

The school ends up being surprisingly easy to find and Freddie lets out an, ‘Oh!’ of recognition as they drive through the streets, leaning half out the window to get a better look and letting all the air-conditioned air out.Not that Brian can be at all mad at him right now, when he’s staring around with such fervent wonder, struck silent by old memories.

“Stop here,” Freddie says quickly, waving a hand at him.“Let’s walk the rest.”

Brian does, pulling the car over and getting back out into the heat, meeting Freddie around the other side with a small grin.“Coming back to you?”

“It is,” Freddie says, awed. He leads the way down the street, looking every which way he can at every second, like he’s afraid if he doesn’t take it all in right away he’ll miss it. “I used to walk along here with Kash in the mornings. We’d meet my friends at the corner there,” he says, his pace quickening as they near and Freddie stops, pointing at the patch of concrete. “We’d all walk together along here.”

Brian follows him along the next street, thankfully shaded over with trees, the air heavy with their sweet, fruity scent.

Freddie points up at them.“I used to climb up these and steal fruit on the way.”

Brian peers up, smiling to himself.It’s all too easy to imagine a tiny Freddie scrambling up the narrow trunks, his friends hoisting him up, returning to the ground filthy but triumphant, sticky with fruit juice by the time he arrived at school.

“Little terror,” Brian teases him.

Freddie laughs.“I must’ve been,” he allows.“Why else would my parents send me away?”He’s joking, but only a bit. 

Brian takes his hand and lifts it to his mouth, kissing it briefly; there’s nobody around.“They wanted what was best for you, love,” he tells him quietly.

“I know,” Freddie says, looking over at him. “It’s lucky they did. You and I would never be here, otherwise.” His entire life would have been different. No Queen. No Freddie Mercury. No wedding ring on his finger.

“We would,” Brian says confidently.“I know we would.Somehow.”

Freddie laughs at his determination, his newfound belief in fate, and pauses outside a well-kept stone building with fences all around and hop-scotch chalked on the concrete.

“This is it,” Freddie says needlessly.

It’s still a school; they can see a class going on through the glass-less windows, children chanting letters to their teacher, the voices a pleasant chorus that makes Brian feel terribly nostalgic and almost overwhelmed by how much he loves Freddie.

He was here, once.A small boy finding his way in the world, learning how to read and write right here in this building, maybe skipping along the hop-scotch or kicking a ball with his friends. 

They don’t linger; it feels strange when there are children inside having lessons.

They walk back to the car and Freddie directs Brian through the streets with confidence he definitely didn’t have on the way into the city from the hotel, the route kept safe in his mind all these years.

“There,” Freddie says softly, and Brian stops the car again.

It’s a yellow house, faded but charming. It looks like it’s a hotel now but there’s a big plaque over the door that says ‘Freddie Mercury House’ and Brian’s eyebrows jump when he sees a noticeboard beside the door.

“Oh, Fred,” he lets out, striding over.“Look!”

It’s about Freddie.There are photos of him behind the glass doors of the display from various times in their career and Brian grins, leaning down to get a better look.“Oh, I love this photo of you,” he says happily, tapping the glass over a picture of Freddie during Crazy Little Thing, his hips thrust forward with the guitar slung around his neck, arms thrown out.“And this, God, how young you look!”

Freddie looks too, shaking his head.“Oh God,” he says.“Can’t we take that down?Look at my _hair_!Why would they do this to me,” he laments, staring at an old seventies photoshoot.

“Oh, shut up,” Brian chides gently, nudging him. 

There’s a little biography underneath, telling the story of how Freddie was born here and moved to England when he was seventeen to become one of the world’s most legendary rockstars.His own name is there, listed not only as a member of Queen but, to his surprise, as Freddie’s husband.

It brings a lump to his throat and he has to cough a few times.

Freddie’s staring, too, eyes suspiciously bright.“I can’t believe this is here,” he says, taking a few steps back to look up at the house again.“That was my bedroom,” he says, pointing at a window.

“Stand in the doorway, Fred,” Brian directs him, moving back as well and getting his phone out.

“Oh, Bri!” Freddie says, immediately throwing his hands up to block his face.“We’re not fucking _tourists_.”

“_Fred_,” Brian says sternly.“You have to.I’m going to send it to your mum.”

And Freddie can’t very well argue with that.

He stands begrudgingly for a picture, then smiles for it when Brian tells him off again, before crossing over to loop his arms around his waist.

Brian puts his phone away and holds onto him and they stay like that for several long minutes, just existing together in this place neither of them ever thought they’d be.

They’re quiet on the journey back, both lost in thought, and eat in the hotel once again because neither of them fancied the bustling streets of Stone Town after the afternoon they’ve had. 

They have another early night, lying curled together with the doors open so they can hear the ocean outside and see the moon glinting off the waves, the stars shining overhead.

“Thank you for bringing me here, darling,” Freddie says after a long time of peaceful, easy silence between them.“I never would have come back otherwise.I always would have thought of it as this…just.Somewhere to be ashamed of.But it’s beautiful.Isn’t it?”

Brian kisses the top of his head.“It is,” he agrees.“Does it feel like coming home?”

Freddie’s quiet a moment, considering.“No,” he says at last.“_Our_ home is home.You are.But it’s something.”Something _like_ home.Roots he’d tried to abandon long ago, pretending for all the world that his life before he was a teenager in London didn’t exist.But he _did_ exist here, in this thriving city full of heart and colour.This is where he’s from.

And, for the first time in years, he feels unspeakably proud of that.


End file.
